A little bit alone

Feeling alone at the moment. I think it's coming down to the serious stuff and i realise just how much of this is me driving everything and i start to question things. Things like does Kylie really want to do this? Will we be ok? I feel like we are far apart at the moment, even when we're sitting across the same table. Is it just me i wonder? Is this still the drugs making me feel like this? I think my moods and emotional state has become more stable, but i do still feel alone.

I think one thing that really disappointed me is that Kylie is not coming to the egg pick up.

I understand that she has really important stuff at work at the moment and that it is really hard to get anytime off from the recruit course, but it's still hard, i wish she could be more a part of this process with me. She has BA (breathing apparatus) training both Tuesday and Wednesday, so there is no chance for her to come, but even so, it would have been nice......