04 December 2008
I went into parliament house to watch it with a committed bunch of women and their families - probably 35-40 of us in total. The gallery was packed and there was an almighty cheer and clapping when the result was read out. It really was a great thing to see and brought tears to my eyes. Thank goodness, politics is exhausting...
03 December 2008
We've just bought a house! That's some pretty exciting news. It's a 3 bedroom house in a dodgier part of Melbourne that we'd like to live - but that's ok, because it's an investment property! Just hoping the finance comes through - and in the current financial climate you just don't know...fingers crossed!
The ART Bill is up for debate again this week - hopefully we will have an end to the long running saga....I am glad it will finally be over this week, I just hope that the outcome is favourable. What a ridiculous situation we'd be left in now if these laws don't pass, given the passing of federal laws recognizing our family, given that in 4 other states/territories our families are recognized and given that in most other state law we are recognized.....but it seems politics and law don't have to be logical.....fingers crossed on this one too.
22 November 2008
He's been really grizzly today as well. It's awful to see him like this, so unhappy we can barely get a smile from him and he's usually such a happy little thing...
He's not really drinking much and hasn't eaten alot either today which worries me. We've just got him off to bed but have decided when he wakes tonight we'll feed him given that he hasn't drank anything pretty much all day. I do hope he gets better soon.
I tell you what though - if i don't see some teeth soon (given that everyone says this is teething) - then I am gonna....i'm gonna.....yeah, i don't know what!! I'm just gonna!!
21 November 2008
He woke up a couple of times overnight, but only just required a bried little pat and back off to sleep. No massive crying or feeding required!
This morning he is dribbling his head off, grizzling most of the day and has a snuffly, snotty nose....dare i say it.....teething????
So far, every time he has dribbled, grizzled, had red cheeks, etc...poeple have given their expert judgement that he is teething...this has been since he was about 3 months old....needless to say it's a bit of a joke around here that every little thing that happens or he does is put down to 'teething'....maybe this time is the real thing though???
20 November 2008
THe little boy is doing so well! Last night, after being so tired that he wouldn't drink his bottle going to bed, I thought we could be in for a bit of waking up when he realised he was hungry later. He went to bed at 7pm and then didn't wake up at all until about 4am. It took only two times of going in to shh and pat him - a total of about 10min before he went back to sleep until 7.15am!! What a star! I'm so pleased that this hasn't turned out to be too traumatic for him. He woke up happy as ever this morning - and so did we! I know it's only night 3 but it sure looks like he's got the hang of getting himself back to sleep easily when he wakes. I'm really pleased we made the decision to do this.
19 November 2008
Anyway, we decided that we might have to address this. We talked to our MCHN and decided that we would try the 'controlled comforting' approach from now on when he wakes at night. So we started two nights ago, our progress so far goes like this:
NIGHT 1: We were all geared up full of motivation ready to start our new regime. We decided that we had to commit to at least a week of the controlled comforting approach to see if it made a difference. Kylie had just finished her work for the week and has 4 days off, so we figured now was the time! Little Spence went off to bed as usual at about 7pm and we went to bed early in anticipation of the long night ahead! Spence woke up at 12.30am as he had been the last few nights and so we waited until he was crying rather than just grizzling. Then Ky went in and just gave him a little talking to and a pat and some soothing words.
He wasn't impressed. He wanted a bottle, he wanted to be picked up....She stayed in there for a few minutes then came out. He cried. We waited for 2 mintues then went back in, soothing words, patting, shhh-ing and then left again. He cried. We waited 4 minutes, back in then out, 6 minutes, back in then out, 8 minutes, back in then out, 10 minutes, back in then out, 12 minutes, back in then out. All the while he cried his poor little head off. We hated it but just tried to remain strong and remember that in the long run it would be better. Finally after an hour he went back to sleep.
He woke up again at 4 and we went through the same ordeal. It was really hard and tiring for everyone. He really ramped his crying up and when he fell asleep after an hour and a half it was only for 10 minutes or so. We finally got him up and gave him a bottle at 5.30am. He then went back to sleep for a few hours after that, whilst i headed to work with a headache, feeling very tired and traumatized from the ordeal. Spence was fine though!
NIGHT 2: Had to psyche ourselves up to do it all again night 2, reinforcing our committment to a week before we pulled the pin on it if we couldn't handle it or saw no change. Went to bed early again and geared up for the long night.
Spence woke up at 1am. We waited till he was crying not just grizzling before i went in. I talked quietly to him, pulled the blankets up and gave him a pat and some shhh-ing. Then when he was quiet i said goodnight and left the room. He immediately started to cry and I went back to our room to wait out the few minutes before i'd go in again. But low and behold - he quietened down and went back to sleep!! I'd only been in there once!! He slept till 5.15am and then started to make some little noises and the odd cry, but kept going back to sleep! We ended up feeding him at 6am - he wasn't full on crying just half-crying but thought it was a reasonable time so we fed him. Success on night 2!! I feel fantastic after having so much sleep!!
We're well aware it's just night 2 so this may not be the new pattern yet, but at least we had some immediate success to keep us motivated! Will keep you posted on the next few nights progress.
14 November 2008
After debate over the last three days a vote on the second reading was held and passed - 20 for to 18 against - it doesn't get much closer than that! The bill has now been referred to the Legislative Committee (3 ALP, 2 Libs, 1 Nat and 1 Green) for discussion, consideration of amendments etc. They will report back to the Parliament on 2 December, after which the Bill will go to a third reading and final vote (some time during that week, the final sitting of Parliament for the year). I think that it is a positive sign that it went to Committee as it may not have been supported in it's current form in a final vote and there have been a number of credible amendments raised.
There was a great speech by a Liberal Party member, Mr Bruce Atkinson, last night (yes, Liberal Party!!) supporting our families - which is great to see. I wrote a letter to Mr Atkinson thanking him and saying that the Liberal Party could do with more good people like himself! There was terrible speech by Inga Peulich (Liberal) pretty much saying how our families were inferior and children needed to be protected from circumstances such as our - am astounded at how simple some people's little minds are....
With the vote so close, the Christian right will no doubt be stepping up it's campaign to stop this legislation so we will also be continuing to lobby for support over the next few weeks. I am hopeful that the right outcome will prevail here but you just never know.
Listening to parliament has been quite educational, both in terms of politics and political process but also, sadly, in terms of the level of prejudice that still exists in our society, some of the Liberal and National Party member speeches have just been appalling. It's funny because i don't often come face to face with people who think like this, but it seems there are quite a lot of them - just under half of the upper house anyway!
07 November 2008
Just another quick one - busy working today!
Little Spence is going great, he's talking (well you konw - making sounds) - ironically, his first decipherable sound seems to be 'dadadada'- this must just be the easiest sound for him because, as you can imagine, we didn't teach him that one!!! I keep saying to him 'mum mum mum', 'bub bub bub', 'nan nan nan' - and he just laughs and says 'da da da'!! It's hilarious.
On the political front, the ART Bill resumes debate next week. We are really concerned that it's not going to get passed, it is looking so tight. It will be just so disappointing as it could then be years before Spencer gets the same rights as other kids. It is just so unfair and makes me really angry when i think about it. The Victorian Law Reform Commissions report recommends the law needs to change, all research indicates that children of same sex families do just as well as other children - there is no reason for this bill being turned down other than plain old ignorance and prejudice.
Here is the world currently so proud of itself with electing Barrack Obama to the whitehouse, everyone talking about how far we've come in terms of equality. Pah! It seems gay is the new black - and let me assure you, we're still at the back of the bus.
06 October 2008
Gosh, life is busy!
After our QLD holiday we were home for just a week where i madly finished off an assignment for school then we went to Hobart for a week. Quite a contrasting holiday to our QLD one!
We've been home for a bit but I am madly doing my last assignment so promise to write after that! Just a few more weeks.
Lots going on, our little man is eating lots of food, he's sitting up and he's rolling over from front to back!! Excitement all round!!
Can't wait to finish school so i can relax a bit more, but right now, gotta get back to it. He's a recent pic - he's just sooo cute.
I think we need a new video soon - i'll work on getting one up next post!
10 September 2008
We've just come home from our first family holiday. We spent 11 days in Caloundra and Brisbane and had a great time! It's quite a different holiday with a baby in tow, but i've come to terms with the much more sedate style of holiday and accepted that i won't be diving and trekking and kayaking etc etc on holidays anytime soon!
We did get to go surfing once though, which was great!! Staying with family and friends was good as we got a few opportunities to venture out and about for a few hours here and there without the little one. He really coped just fine with being somewhere different and we tried to stick with our little routines and make sure he had lots of sleeps as he normally would. Overall, a resounding success!
We even found a $75 surfboard at Trash and Treasure market and we bought it - for Spence of course!! His first surfboard. He's a pic of him on it!!!
22 August 2008
It's quite weird. It's the first time i've been away from Spencer since he was born, so that's a little hard - I doing ok at the moment - though they did only go about 5 hours ago! Ky wanted to go to the country to see her parents given that we are going away and then she'll be working weekends for a while so won't be able to get down there. I have lots of work to do on the Masters before we go away as i have an assignment due mid Sept and another mid Oct. So anyway, Ky suggested that she and Spence go away by themselves. At first I was horrified, but then Ky pointed out all of the positive benefits....a good nights sleep, a sleep in, being able to make loud noises, getting lots of work done...did i mention sleeping in???
So, I'm really looking forward to having a big sleep in, going to the gym and spending as long as i want to and then getting stuck into more school work tomorrow. Of course, if i get it done early enough I could always drive down to see them.....?!
14 August 2008
On the weight loss front, despite a small plateau at the moment, i've lost 6.5kg since starting the WW thing, i'm still 9kg off my pre-baby weight of 65kg, so sticking at it.
I'm working working working - still mostly from home, thank goodness. Study has started back about a month ago, i've got just two subjects to go till i finish my Masters, so working hard at that right now. In a mad rush to finish the third assignment before we go on holiday.
Something exciting - we're getting one half of our massive garage converted to a home office and storage room. That's a bit exciting as it will free up our other bedroom (which is currently an office/study) for the next child!! Isn't it funny how as soon as you have a baby, everyone is already asking you when you'll have the next one! It has made us think about it much more than we would have. I'm still just wanting to get used to the first one - and get my body back to normal - before i start on the second!
Our holiday to the Sunshine Coast and Brisbane is coming up in just two weeks, goodness, that is soon - i'd better get back to my assignment instead of blogging away!!
11 August 2008
We've persevered though, much to his horror, so now he is actually trying to 'eat'. I was wondering how long I have to keep giving him this horrible stuff before we can give him something nicer. Books and websites say stick with the rice for a few weeks - but i'm not so sure, we may just pull out the big guns - sweet potato and banana (not together though!) - they seem to be popular with the mums.
06 August 2008
My name is Spencer and I am five months old. My mummies are helping me to write this letter because there is some legislation that you have to vote on soon that impacts our family greatly. It is legislation to do with same sex parented families, access to assisted reproductive technology, adoption and surrogacy. This legislation will decide whether my family should be called a family and whether both of my mummies should be recognized by the law as my parents.
I don't really know what legislation is and I don't know much about the law - (hey, I'm only five months old) - but I do know about my family.
I have two mummies who love me alot and look after me. One of my mummies is a Firefighter - I want to be just like her when I grow up. My other mummy works on the computer part time from home so she can look after me. We live in a nice house where I have my own bedroom, a nice backyard and lots of toys. My favourite toy is called Ziggy, he's blue and orange and he squeaks and makes me smile and laugh!
Both my mums have been there for me since I was just a little dot on the ultrasound screen. Everyone at the doctor's clinic knew I had two mums. When I was born the doctor took me from my mummy's tummy and both my mummies were there and everyone in the hospital knew I had two mums. Now that I'm here in the world both my mums change my nappies and give me a bottle and pick me up for a hug when I cry. We go to mother's group every Tuesday and basketball on a Wednesday morning and everyone there knows I have two mums. We even go to Rainbow Playgroup every month where all the kids have two mums - and some have two dads!!
I don't really know why the law doesn't understand that I have two mums - everyone else does and they don't seem to mind!
As well as my two mums, in my family I have four aunties and four uncles and eight cousins and three grandmas and two grandpas!! Boy, that's a lot of people that love me!! It's a bit long-winded for me to explain who's who and how everyone is related - but that's families for you isn't it? - they come in all shapes and sizes!
Anyway, I hope that you can think about us when you have your vote on the legislation and vote in favour of it. My mummies are very concerned that they don't both have a recognized legal relationship with me and I reckon that I deserve to have my two parents recognized as my parents, this makes me feel safe and secure. It would mean alot to all of us that the legal position of our family reflects reality.
I've attached a picture of us for you so you can see what we look like. We are just a family, like any other! If you want to ask us any questions about our family, we'd be happy to talk to you, just so you can understand how important it is to us all that we have the same rights as everyone else. My mummy Karen's mobile number is XXXX XXX XXX.
I better go now, mum says I need to go and have a nap.
Thank you for reading about my family!
P.S. I've attached a picture of me and Ziggy too!
10 July 2008
On the weight watchers front, it's been slow going, but i am losing weight. Have lost total of 2.7kg now. I've been pretty strict about it (apart from a gigantic popcorn at the movies!) and i have been cooking up some nice stuff - getting quite into it. I managed to wear a pair of pants the other day from my 'normal' wardrobe - rather than the maternity wear or tracksuit pants! I am determined to get to my 10% goal by my birthday in September. That's still another 5kg away.
Anyway, back to work for me! Will leave you with a pic of the little boofer!! He's getting so big!
26 June 2008
It's hard to eat well around Kylie though, who just eats whatever she wants and doens't get fat. Don't you hate that.
So anyhow, i tried to stop eating junk and eat less. I started exercising. But with no results happening, i decided it was time to put some effort in. Not sure if you've ever been to weight watchers - i have - i think it's a great idea, because it's not pre-prepared meals it's about learning how to eat better in the real world. It's also motivating. A bit kitsch, sure, but motivating nevertheless. And it's really cool to see the same people each week and see them losing weight and feeling good about themselves, i'm all for it.
Tomorrow is my first weigh in. I've been really good all week and have been cooking up a storm of low fat, healthy, yummy meals all week long. So fingers crossed for tomorrow!
25 June 2008
It's taken me back to the early weeks when everything was much more difficult - feeding, sleeping, settling.
I really hope that it's just some sort of phase.....
09 June 2008
We did baby massage today. The babies hated it - and within about 5 minutes we had a chorus of 11 screaming babies - with Spencer leading the way. It was hilarious!!
05 June 2008
2. The big stretch.
3. The star fish pose when he's sleeping.
4. His smile.
5. His smell - a mixture of baby, bath lotion and amilyn washing liquid on his clothes.
6. His soft fluffy hair.
7. His little grunting face when he's doing a poo.
8. His little turtle head.
9. His grumpy face.
10. When you've just fed him and he gets 'heavy head'.
02 June 2008
22 May 2008
Anyway, decided that i will share some of the things that we have learnt in our first 12 weeks of being parents:
1. Learn to put the baby down to sleep - as in put the baby down in the cot and help him learn to sleep there, rather than in your arms or in a bouncer etc.
2. Don't go into their room too early if crying - give them a chance to get themselves back to sleep as they will do it sometimes and you'll end up with a few more hours that you thought! Note - this one can backfire during daytime sleeps where if left too long, he will work himself up so much that he can't be settled again and he is crying so much he looks like his head will explode.
3. They don't have to be asleep to leave them in the cot - feeding to sleep in the early days was ok, but they need to learn to go to sleep by themselves, put them down, say good night and leave the room. They can get themselves off to sleep - well, sometimes!
4. Their own room - if you are at all a stress head like me, have them in their own room, they can be such noisy little creatures and you worry with every little sound. You do need to switch off sometimes and just sleep.
5. Dummies are not a bad thing - we use a dummy during the day, not for getting him to sleep but usually to settle him when he gets himself really worked up - and it works! I'm glad we don't use it for sleeping in a cot as i've heard lots of stories of kids who wake up constantly because they've lost their dummy.
6. Only buy the bare necesseties before the baby comes - people give you heaps of stuff. We got so many clothes, we really didn't need to buy much - also, it's good to see what it is you actually need rather than taking guesses. Think about the seasons also, we were given lots of 000 summer stuff, but by the time he got into 000 (just now) it was winter and i think he'll have grown out of them by the time it's warm enough to wear them.
7. Use a washing detergent for sensitive skin - we pre-washed all of his clothes before we went to hospital but just in ordinary detergent, then little spence developed a newborn rash and we were told we needed to wash everything in special detergent, so we were in hospital with a bunch of new clothes for him, none of which he could wear!
8. It does get easier - i really thought in those first few weeks 'how on earth can you look after a baby and ever have any sort of life again' - but it does get easier with each week. The baby learns to sleep and to just be in the world and you learn to do things as well.
9. Make contact with all those friends you lost contact with when they had kids - they know stuff and can offer really good support.
10. Get out for a walk - it's healthy for you, can help you get back into shape and it's really good for when the baby is cranky and won't sleep or even stop crying! It was my 4pm life saver for a while!
11. Set little goals for each day and be happy to achieve them - don't aim too high, one or two little goals each day is more than enough to handle. I don't mean goals with the baby, i mean household chores or other things you want to achieve. In the early days, just getting to the shop and back is a day long palava!
12. Take heaps of photos and video if you can - they change so quickly and it's awesome to be able to look back at everything. They are also just soooo cute!
I call it our brush with breastfeeding, but we did last four weeks. Given that it was four weeks of traumatized nipples that were too sore to even touch the tshirt i was wearing, rashes, mastitis, sleep deprivation, no weight gain for the baby, unsuccessful expressing, bottle top ups, nipple shields, sore and lumpy breasts - i think that we gave it a shot. Even the lactation consultant we were seeing was surprised we went for as long as we did. I can't say it was enjoyable, though i did feel sad to stop. Sad i guess that the one special thing that only i could do for the baby was ending, that the closeness of it was ending. I also felt relief - relief at the thought of being able to let my poor breasts heal, at the thought of having no pain anywhere in my body - for the first time in 10 months. I think for me, my painful experience of breastfeeding probably only detracted from this beautiful early time with our baby, prohibited the enjoyment i could have felt. Don't get me wrong - it was still an enjoyable time - but i think would have been more so if we didn't have such a nasty time of breastfeeding.
It's all history now though. We weaned at four weeks to bottles and Spence then thrived, finally getting the nutrition he needed he has now caught up to his expected weight and has really filled out. And me...the wean ended up being alot faster than we thought as Spence stopped taking the breast when we got down to 2 bottles and 4 breastfeeds per day - he no longer would take the breast and so our slow wean became an immediate wean. This was a painful week for me, but after the soreness went away, i felt a million bucks!
02 May 2008
Firstly, here is a pict of our new little man being brought into the world, Spencer Thomas Lush Young, born 4.02pm on March 13th, 2008:
What an amazing day that was! When i look at the pictures i can feel the amazing feelings that i had and wish i could have the day over and over again.
Given that it's been 7 weeks since then, i'll skim over the main bits of what's been going on just to get us back up to date. Life has just been so busy getting through this early time of parenthood that i didn't manage to blog my way through it - who would think such a little thing that supposedly just eats and sleeps can take up so much time, but i don't think i even turned the computer on for about three weeks after he was born!
12 March 2008
11 March 2008
Thank goodness! I am not able to do much except sit at the computer, sit on the couch or lay in bed. Everything hurts and i get tired if i do anything for more than 5 minutes.
I am so excited about Thursday. We are so prepared and it's the last day of work for both Kylie and me today, it's just all so exciting!!!!
04 March 2008
25 February 2008
Went to obs last week, thankfully he gave me some Zantac for the heartburn that had been getting me down for a week or so. It has worked wonders and I feel alot better. I am still fat and uncomfortable, really struggling to walk around now, hard to sleep....but other than that.....!!
We have to see the obs weekly now, so off to see him again in two days. We are 37 weeks tomorrow. Thank goodness! Will take a 37 week pic and put it up....be warned, stretch mark city!
16 February 2008
It goes between a flat and an outtie now depending on what the baby is doing and what i am doing. It also has like a crater or a moat around it! Kind of like a little depression that encircles it and then the flat/outtie. Very interesting! It's also very very soft skin. Talk about naval gazing! I don't suppose i'll get to see it like this again (unless i have another bub) so i should take a photo of it!
Finished up work yesterday - well, working in the office, anyway. Gonna work from home for a couple of weeks now. I am so relieved as it was really becoming quite a struggle to go in, so at least now i can work at home and just have a lay down when i need to.
Walex is still moving like crazy, sometimes it makes me feel sick or kinda like i have palpitations.
I can't wait for the next three and a half weeks to pass, i am so over feeling crappy that i am really excited and looking forward to having my stomach cut open!! How sick is that!!
13 February 2008
08 February 2008
I am not feeling fantastic and am pretty sore and still struggling - but that's not new...
We have a confirmed date now - March 13th. Have to be at hospital at 1200 for the Caesarian at 1415hrs. I think that's a good time, can get up really early have some breakfast, then back to bed for a bit. Kylie will be working the night shift so will come home and then we can leave about 1100 for the hospital.
Got a little name dilemma....we had a short list for ages, then just recently came across another name - Jonah - that we both like and i think that was gonna be the one. The problem i have is that, being a sailor, Jonah carries some negotive connotations in sailing circles based on the biblical story of Jonah. So i really like it and i don't care about silly connotations, but all my friends are sailors and i can imagine what we'll hear from them. Also, what if he grows up to be a sailor like me - then not a good name to have.....bummer......anyways, will have to talk about it with Ky again.
01 February 2008
Had a little hiccup a couple of weeks ago when i fainted - luckily was sitting down at the time! It was a bit worrying but Walex has still been moving around and all seems good. I would have called the obs, but he's away on holidays. Was gonna got to GP just to make sure everything ok, but in the end, haven't done anything. Now i have worried myself into a bit of a state thinking what if something is wrong and it's my fault because i haven't gone to dr? The obs is back this week and i have appointment on Tuesday, so hopefully he will check everything out and put my mind at ease.
Have been really sore low down in my stomach, kind of like muscular sore, sometimes so much that i stuggle to walk. In bed at night i can't lay on my back, get really sore hips on my sides and it hurts and takes quite some effort to turn over. For the most part I think i am coping ok, but it sometimes gets me down. I have felt crap everyday of the entire pregnancy and can't remember what it felt like anymore to feel good. Just hanging in there now, counting down the days.
Speaking of counting down, just 8 more working days for me in the office, then 8 more from home. I can't wait. I can feel the stress leaving me and the things that would normally be stressing me out at work aren't stressing me anymore as i know i won't be there much longer! It's a really nice feeling actually to go to work and not be so stressed and angry all the time. Poor Kim, my replacement, though! He's copping it all now!
16 January 2008
Had another obs appointment yesterday, all is good, average size for 31 weeks, heart rate 141bpm (normal).
01 January 2008
We've moved into our new house with all the fun and games associated with moving. It's really great to be in our own place. We've got a list of things that we need to fix, buy, build etc...and we'll just tackle them as we can. I am getting fat and uncomfortable - what do i mean getting....i seem to have always felt fat and uncomfortable! It's stopping me from doing lots of things that i want to do in the house, which can be frustrating, but i am getting better and don't try anything that it just too hard! That leaves poor Kylie to do nearly everything!
We had our three prenatal classes this month just gone. There was one about Breastfeeding, one about Early postnatal and parenting and one on Caesarian section. They were all pretty good, nothing really earth shattering, but i'm glad we went and it prompted me to think about a few things and learn about some community resources.
We had some difficult times just before Christmas as dad's wife Sue's mother died and on the day of her funeral, my nana died. We had the funeral for Nana on Christmas Eve, which was her 97th birthday! It was sad, but i was ok for the most part. Mostly wanting my mum to be ok.
We had a little hiccup on the baby front, with my initial Glucose Challenge Test being deemed as abnormal (found out it was actually 8.0, when it was meant to be <7.9).>35 (we had about 40 today too!!) - the weather has shown that our house is a hothouse and so we bought an air conditioner yesterday that Kylie's dad is going to put in. It's a lot of money, but it did worry me about not being able to cool the house when we have a little baby in it. Am going to look at ceiling fans for the two front bedrooms.
We had another obs appointment yesterday and once again, all is well. Apparently we can expect a big growth spurt from now till about 35 weeks. I just can't imagine where it is going to go and how fat and uncomfortable i am going to feel, given how i feel now!! In the next 5 weeks or so little Walex will about double his weight from just over a kilo to 2 kilos - i can't believe it!!