Night 3

THe little boy is doing so well! Last night, after being so tired that he wouldn't drink his bottle going to bed, I thought we could be in for a bit of waking up when he realised he was hungry later. He went to bed at 7pm and then didn't wake up at all until about 4am. It took only two times of going in to shh and pat him - a total of about 10min before he went back to sleep until 7.15am!! What a star! I'm so pleased that this hasn't turned out to be too traumatic for him. He woke up happy as ever this morning - and so did we! I know it's only night 3 but it sure looks like he's got the hang of getting himself back to sleep easily when he wakes. I'm really pleased we made the decision to do this.

Sleep.....zzzzzZZZZZZZZZ

We've taken drastic action! Spence has been waking up earlier and earlier these days. He used to sleep until anywhere from 5.30am to 7am when we'd feed him and put him back to bed for a couple more hours. The last five weeks or so he's been waking earlier, more like 3.30am, so we'd been feeding him and putting him back to bed. Then he started to wake at 12.30am and 4am or so. We just did what we'd always done and fed him both times. Little alarm bells in my head were saying 'we're developing a bad habit here'. He doesn't need to food overnight, in fact, he often wouldn't even finish the bottles, plus he already has three meals a day as well as 4 bottles. I think we were just reinforcing for him that when he woke up, we give him a cuddle and a feed and he goes back to sleep, meaning we had no other real way of getting him back to sleep than feeding. Not to mention how tired it was making us which is hard as we're both working 4 days a week.

Anyway, we decided that we might have to address this. We talked to our MCHN and decided that we would try the 'controlled comforting' approach from now on when he wakes at night. So we started two nights ago, our progress so far goes like this:

NIGHT 1: We were all geared up full of motivation ready to start our new regime. We decided that we had to commit to at least a week of the controlled comforting approach to see if it made a difference. Kylie had just finished her work for the week and has 4 days off, so we figured now was the time! Little Spence went off to bed as usual at about 7pm and we went to bed early in anticipation of the long night ahead! Spence woke up at 12.30am as he had been the last few nights and so we waited until he was crying rather than just grizzling. Then Ky went in and just gave him a little talking to and a pat and some soothing words.
He wasn't impressed. He wanted a bottle, he wanted to be picked up....She stayed in there for a few minutes then came out. He cried. We waited for 2 mintues then went back in, soothing words, patting, shhh-ing and then left again. He cried. We waited 4 minutes, back in then out, 6 minutes, back in then out, 8 minutes, back in then out, 10 minutes, back in then out, 12 minutes, back in then out. All the while he cried his poor little head off. We hated it but just tried to remain strong and remember that in the long run it would be better. Finally after an hour he went back to sleep.
He woke up again at 4 and we went through the same ordeal. It was really hard and tiring for everyone. He really ramped his crying up and when he fell asleep after an hour and a half it was only for 10 minutes or so. We finally got him up and gave him a bottle at 5.30am. He then went back to sleep for a few hours after that, whilst i headed to work with a headache, feeling very tired and traumatized from the ordeal. Spence was fine though!

NIGHT 2: Had to psyche ourselves up to do it all again night 2, reinforcing our committment to a week before we pulled the pin on it if we couldn't handle it or saw no change. Went to bed early again and geared up for the long night.
Spence woke up at 1am. We waited till he was crying not just grizzling before i went in. I talked quietly to him, pulled the blankets up and gave him a pat and some shhh-ing. Then when he was quiet i said goodnight and left the room. He immediately started to cry and I went back to our room to wait out the few minutes before i'd go in again. But low and behold - he quietened down and went back to sleep!! I'd only been in there once!! He slept till 5.15am and then started to make some little noises and the odd cry, but kept going back to sleep! We ended up feeding him at 6am - he wasn't full on crying just half-crying but thought it was a reasonable time so we fed him. Success on night 2!! I feel fantastic after having so much sleep!!
We're well aware it's just night 2 so this may not be the new pattern yet, but at least we had some immediate success to keep us motivated! Will keep you posted on the next few nights progress.

ART Bill 2008 Update

The Assisted Reproductive Technology Bill was debated in the Upper House this week.

After debate over the last three days a vote on the second reading was held and passed - 20 for to 18 against - it doesn't get much closer than that! The bill has now been referred to the Legislative Committee (3 ALP, 2 Libs, 1 Nat and 1 Green) for discussion, consideration of amendments etc. They will report back to the Parliament on 2 December, after which the Bill will go to a third reading and final vote (some time during that week, the final sitting of Parliament for the year). I think that it is a positive sign that it went to Committee as it may not have been supported in it's current form in a final vote and there have been a number of credible amendments raised.

There was a great speech by a Liberal Party member, Mr Bruce Atkinson, last night (yes, Liberal Party!!) supporting our families - which is great to see. I wrote a letter to Mr Atkinson thanking him and saying that the Liberal Party could do with more good people like himself! There was terrible speech by Inga Peulich (Liberal) pretty much saying how our families were inferior and children needed to be protected from circumstances such as our - am astounded at how simple some people's little minds are....

With the vote so close, the Christian right will no doubt be stepping up it's campaign to stop this legislation so we will also be continuing to lobby for support over the next few weeks. I am hopeful that the right outcome will prevail here but you just never know.

Listening to parliament has been quite educational, both in terms of politics and political process but also, sadly, in terms of the level of prejudice that still exists in our society, some of the Liberal and National Party member speeches have just been appalling. It's funny because i don't often come face to face with people who think like this, but it seems there are quite a lot of them - just under half of the upper house anyway!

November and politics

Just another quick one - busy working today!
Little Spence is going great, he's talking (well you konw - making sounds) - ironically, his first decipherable sound seems to be 'dadadada'- this must just be the easiest sound for him because, as you can imagine, we didn't teach him that one!!! I keep saying to him 'mum mum mum', 'bub bub bub', 'nan nan nan' - and he just laughs and says 'da da da'!! It's hilarious.

On the political front, the ART Bill resumes debate next week. We are really concerned that it's not going to get passed, it is looking so tight. It will be just so disappointing as it could then be years before Spencer gets the same rights as other kids. It is just so unfair and makes me really angry when i think about it. The Victorian Law Reform Commissions report recommends the law needs to change, all research indicates that children of same sex families do just as well as other children - there is no reason for this bill being turned down other than plain old ignorance and prejudice.

Here is the world currently so proud of itself with electing Barrack Obama to the whitehouse, everyone talking about how far we've come in terms of equality. Pah! It seems gay is the new black - and let me assure you, we're still at the back of the bus.

Been a while!

Gosh, life is busy!
After our QLD holiday we were home for just a week where i madly finished off an assignment for school then we went to Hobart for a week. Quite a contrasting holiday to our QLD one!
We've been home for a bit but I am madly doing my last assignment so promise to write after that! Just a few more weeks.
Lots going on, our little man is eating lots of food, he's sitting up and he's rolling over from front to back!! Excitement all round!!
Can't wait to finish school so i can relax a bit more, but right now, gotta get back to it. He's a recent pic - he's just sooo cute.
I think we need a new video soon - i'll work on getting one up next post!

Family Holiday

We've just come home from our first family holiday. We spent 11 days in Caloundra and Brisbane and had a great time! It's quite a different holiday with a baby in tow, but i've come to terms with the much more sedate style of holiday and accepted that i won't be diving and trekking and kayaking etc etc on holidays anytime soon!

We did get to go surfing once though, which was great!! Staying with family and friends was good as we got a few opportunities to venture out and about for a few hours here and there without the little one. He really coped just fine with being somewhere different and we tried to stick with our little routines and make sure he had lots of sleeps as he normally would. Overall, a resounding success!

We even found a $75 surfboard at Trash and Treasure market and we bought it - for Spence of course!! His first surfboard. He's a pic of him on it!!!

Home Alone

Ky and Spence have gone away for the weekend and I am here all alone!

It's quite weird. It's the first time i've been away from Spencer since he was born, so that's a little hard - I doing ok at the moment - though they did only go about 5 hours ago! Ky wanted to go to the country to see her parents given that we are going away and then she'll be working weekends for a while so won't be able to get down there. I have lots of work to do on the Masters before we go away as i have an assignment due mid Sept and another mid Oct. So anyway, Ky suggested that she and Spence go away by themselves. At first I was horrified, but then Ky pointed out all of the positive benefits....a good nights sleep, a sleep in, being able to make loud noises, getting lots of work done...did i mention sleeping in???

So, I'm really looking forward to having a big sleep in, going to the gym and spending as long as i want to and then getting stuck into more school work tomorrow. Of course, if i get it done early enough I could always drive down to see them.....?!

Home Renovations and Expansions

So many things going on here.....!

On the weight loss front, despite a small plateau at the moment, i've lost 6.5kg since starting the WW thing, i'm still 9kg off my pre-baby weight of 65kg, so sticking at it.

I'm working working working - still mostly from home, thank goodness. Study has started back about a month ago, i've got just two subjects to go till i finish my Masters, so working hard at that right now. In a mad rush to finish the third assignment before we go on holiday.

Something exciting - we're getting one half of our massive garage converted to a home office and storage room. That's a bit exciting as it will free up our other bedroom (which is currently an office/study) for the next child!! Isn't it funny how as soon as you have a baby, everyone is already asking you when you'll have the next one! It has made us think about it much more than we would have. I'm still just wanting to get used to the first one - and get my body back to normal - before i start on the second!

Our holiday to the Sunshine Coast and Brisbane is coming up in just two weeks, goodness, that is soon - i'd better get back to my assignment instead of blogging away!!

Baby Rice and Peer Group Pressure

I wonder if babies actually like baby rice? For the last five days we've tried to give Spencer baby rice - he's just 5 months old and although the WHO recommend not starting solids until 6 months, we were feeling the pressure. All except two babies at mother's group have already started with solids. So we caved and went to the shop and got some baby rice for 4 months +. The big moment came and we got our little concoction of rice and formula and the special little pink rubbery spoon that i accidently stole from Big W (that's another story!) and we gave it a shot. He loved it!! Nahh, just kidding - he hated it! See for yourself in the vid below!!

We've persevered though, much to his horror, so now he is actually trying to 'eat'. I was wondering how long I have to keep giving him this horrible stuff before we can give him something nicer. Books and websites say stick with the rice for a few weeks - but i'm not so sure, we may just pull out the big guns - sweet potato and banana (not together though!) - they seem to be popular with the mums.

Spencer's Letter

Spencer is now a political activist! Here's a copy of the letter he sent to all of the state MPs:



Hello!

My name is Spencer and I am five months old. My mummies are helping me to write this letter because there is some legislation that you have to vote on soon that impacts our family greatly. It is legislation to do with same sex parented families, access to assisted reproductive technology, adoption and surrogacy. This legislation will decide whether my family should be called a family and whether both of my mummies should be recognized by the law as my parents.

I don't really know what legislation is and I don't know much about the law - (hey, I'm only five months old) - but I do know about my family.

I have two mummies who love me alot and look after me. One of my mummies is a Firefighter - I want to be just like her when I grow up. My other mummy works on the computer part time from home so she can look after me. We live in a nice house where I have my own bedroom, a nice backyard and lots of toys. My favourite toy is called Ziggy, he's blue and orange and he squeaks and makes me smile and laugh!

Both my mums have been there for me since I was just a little dot on the ultrasound screen. Everyone at the doctor's clinic knew I had two mums. When I was born the doctor took me from my mummy's tummy and both my mummies were there and everyone in the hospital knew I had two mums. Now that I'm here in the world both my mums change my nappies and give me a bottle and pick me up for a hug when I cry. We go to mother's group every Tuesday and basketball on a Wednesday morning and everyone there knows I have two mums. We even go to Rainbow Playgroup every month where all the kids have two mums - and some have two dads!!

I don't really know why the law doesn't understand that I have two mums - everyone else does and they don't seem to mind!

As well as my two mums, in my family I have four aunties and four uncles and eight cousins and three grandmas and two grandpas!! Boy, that's a lot of people that love me!! It's a bit long-winded for me to explain who's who and how everyone is related - but that's families for you isn't it? - they come in all shapes and sizes!

Anyway, I hope that you can think about us when you have your vote on the legislation and vote in favour of it. My mummies are very concerned that they don't both have a recognized legal relationship with me and I reckon that I deserve to have my two parents recognized as my parents, this makes me feel safe and secure. It would mean alot to all of us that the legal position of our family reflects reality.

I've attached a picture of us for you so you can see what we look like. We are just a family, like any other! If you want to ask us any questions about our family, we'd be happy to talk to you, just so you can understand how important it is to us all that we have the same rights as everyone else. My mummy Karen's mobile number is XXXX XXX XXX.

I better go now, mum says I need to go and have a nap.

Thank you for reading about my family!


From Spencer


P.S. I've attached a picture of me and Ziggy too!